A Letter to the Man with My Blood on His Hands

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Picture shared on Facebook

I came across a photo prompt today and as I thought about all the words I would say, every emotion I was feeling came pouring out of my pen. I guess sometimes it takes this kind of event to cure writer’s block. Anyhow, this is what I came up with…

To the man with my blood on his hands,

Some say that death is the hardest pain to heal, while others say that it’s harder to mourn the loss of someone still alive… but me, oh I think that healing a broken spirit is much more difficult a task. I have mourned the loss of too many loved ones to count, and the loss of “love” even, but it has taken me 30 years to finally grieve for the loss of my innocence. I wish I could tell you just how much you broke me but I don’t even remember your name. I guess suppressing painful memories can do that to a person. What I do know is that because of you I have flinched every time a man has ever touched me. Because of you, I have built walls around my heart so high that most give up before ever coming close to reaching the summit. Because of you, I wouldn’t know real love if it slapped me in the face. And every time I’m betrayed by someone who claims to love me, my spirit breaks just a little bit more. Because of you, I’m also afraid of being alone. Because of you, I’ve allowed my flesh to be desecrated at the hands of merciless cowards. Because of you, I constantly apologize for things I have no control over, sometimes even for my own existence. Because of you…hell, who am I kidding? It’s ALL because of you. See ’cause, it is because of YOU that I fight my hardest to heal…to share my voice for all the broken little girls who can’t. And because of you, and every wrong path you led me to, I found my purpose! See I wish you no harm. I actually hope you’re well. I hope you have a very long life ahead of you with an excellent memory. And I hope your demons keep you company every night as you lay your head on your pillow. And I hope somehow, some way, you read this some day and see the face of the brave little girl you almost destroyed. You couldn’t silence me forever.

4 thoughts on “A Letter to the Man with My Blood on His Hands

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  1. You have no idea how much your post moved me…it could have been written by me…except I remember the name and he is dead and it was a bad and painful one!! Thank you for being so brave!! ❤

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  2. I have found that the greatest revenge is to survive. My situation is different, first of all, I’m a man, second it was family so I know my demons. And last, I have no memory of my innocence being stolen, I was so young that it’s as if I never had it.

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    1. I’m so sorry for your experience! I absolutely agree with you though. Survival is the greatest revenge. Their karma is just that, theirs. I will continue to share my pure heart with the world because that, in turn, is my karma. ❤

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